If doing something on a social media platform that goes against the terms & conditions you had with them is considered a violation in legal terms, what makes you think that stealing away the agency of the person who put their trust in you, counts for any less than a violation?
Cheating is a violation of consent.
Your partner did not consent to exchange energies with the person you fucked
Your partner did not consent to exchange diseases with the person you fucked
Your partner did not consent to exchange traumas with the person you fucked
Your partner did not consent to exchange emotions with the person you fucked
Your partner did not consent to your violation of their mental health
Your partner did not consent to your violation of their emotional health
Your partner did not consent to your violation of their physical health
Yes, even in a friends with benefit situation it is considered cheating.
Anything violation of the terms & conditions that were set during an agreement is a violation.
It doesn't matter if you are not legally bound or if you are not officially a couple or if you're "just friends"
How can I trust you to be my friend if I know you sucked the dick of another guy and then went home to kiss your boyfriend on the mouth, look him in the eyes and tell him you love him?
Do you really think I can trust your friendship after that?
Do you really think I can trust you as a business partner?
Do you really think that you deserve love after that?
The diseases you transfer to your partner without their consent is a violation. It is a form of sexual assault but we lack the vocabulary.
I have never been cheated on but I have been surrounded by cheaters. Most of us are surrounded by unfaithful people.
You can never be both a good person and a cheater.
Whenever you lie to somebody about your intentions and feelings for them you have removed their consent.
Consent is not just sexual. Consent is anything without
Any boy or man trying to use your emotional and mental health has a gateway to your pussy is not a good man, he’s not a good boy. He’s not your friend. He’s not a lover. He’s a bad mistake that should not be repeated twice.
Your heart is not a runway through your pussy. If he wants pussy he should have asked for pussy. If he tries to lie his way to pussy, he
If there are female gold diggers there are male pussy diggers.
They don’t need to dig, they could just ask and then receive.
Emotional consent is not a minor thing. Emotional consent needs to be labelled as such.
Friends with benefits relationships. I have yet to see a friends with benefits relationship between two honest people. One is always a lying. One is always lying about their feelings. And ironically, the one who just wanted sex is the one who’s labelled as the liar or the manipulator or the cold hearted one. But nope, the manipulator is the one who lied about the terms & conditions.
Are you emotionally assaulting yourself?
Simple. Stop lying about your intentions and feelings! If you don’t know what you’re feeling in a given situation, then communicate your confusion and set very clear boundaries with the person.
Say that you are emotionally confused and that you want some time for yourself to figure it out. This is not manipulation, this is not fuckboy or fuckgirl behaviour. This is integrity, this is what respect looks like and this is what self respect looks like!
Cheating is a form of assault:
Anyone who cheated on you has assaulted your boundaries. They have exposed you to sexual diseases, they have assaulted your trust and your emotions and they have broken the contract between you. If you have a "friend" who cheats on their partner, please ask yourself: If they can go home after they have betrayed the person they say "I love you" to in a romantic relationship, what does that reveal about how they view your platonic relationship? Would they betray you too or are you an exception to their lies and manipulations? Most likely, you will know that if your friend is cheating on their partner, they are only a few steps away from betraying you too. Would you trust to hire a person who can easily lie about their feelings and intentions?
Telling your most understanding and patient friend about all your traumas without asking them how they feel and if they have the emotional or mental capacity to help you out. Your friend needs time out from you and this triggers your insecurity further.
I will not be friends with someone cheating on their girlfriend or boyfriend. Even if you are a female friend. I will never ever trust a cheater in any aspect, I wouldn’t trust them to be around me.
Someone who cheats on the person they share their bed with is never going to be a true friend to me. I wouldn’t trust them to tell me the truth. I wouldn’t trust to hire them for a business or anything.
I was friends with a woman who cheated on her boyfriend multiple times and then she found out I had erased her number, deleted her from social media and she asked me "Hey what’s wrong?" "You cheated on your boyfriend and that showed me your true character, that’s what’s wrong" I don’t care if she’s my friend, she’s not my friend if she treats the man she whispers "i love you" to every night and day.
I was in a devoted, pure and loving marriage starting from my final year in high school. It was puppy love and it showed me the depth of love and what I want and don’t want. It gave a little girl a reason to believe in love. We had many problems but none of them came from third parties or from any external problem. They came from our own inner demons and when we split we faced those demons, both together and separately. We uncoupled in a loving way and I don’t think about my ex husband as a bad chapter. I hold up my first marriage as a measuring stick, not the person, but the marriage itself, as the signs I need to recognise of whether or not a man I’m currently dating is truly in love or not. I have seen in the eyes of a man who loves me and I like that reflection of myself in his eyes and I wouldn’t never ever half heartedly enter the next marriage. I want to love a man so deeply. We never had a honeymoon phase because we never went on a honeymoon.
We never had a dull moment or a moment of falling out of love.
And I believe in such a marriage.
I know what I deserve and what is out there in my emotional frequency. I know the depth of the love I need and want in my life. I know that men are no devils and women are no angels thanks to that marriage.
He told me "I have never met a woman like you before" and I would say "Of course you have never met a woman like me before because there is only one woman like me and the next woman you meet you will never have met a woman like her before because there is only one woman like her" And I know my ex can do better than me. Because he deserves that. And I deserves to find someone better than him. Not better than him or better than me as the people we are but better fitted, better suited, better timing, better love. Because our love made us better, we left each other better than when we met.
The next man I meet will not be compared to my ex. He will however be compared to the basic level of respect and love and devotion that I felt in my previous marriage. Because those are my standards and I will lower them for nobody. I soften my boundaries if they come from a place of reactive trauma, not desperation.
When my marriage ended I felt not desperate but insecure, very exposed and vulnerable. I thought I was in control but I was losing control because I had no clue who I was outside a devoted partnership between a man and a woman. I almost became a feminist. Almost. I was so angry at marriage and at men. And I accepted any date offer because I had no clue what I was looking for. I even went on dates with two married men. They told me they were married on the second date. Yeah… thank you, next.
It made me doubt in marriage. But then I had to snap out of it and remind myself that I had never, not even for a nanosecond, doubted the devotion of my ex husband, so I knew that it wasn’t that "all men did" and certainly I can make a longer list of female friends who had cheated on their spouse. I actually consequently went through that list and I released those female friends. I can’t trust a cheater. Cheaters are very sticky and smelly. They reek.
I have no respect for cheaters. I am not talking about recovering cheaters but those who are proud of it, who excuse themselves.
I have so much respect for those who have faced their demons and not those who deny their demons or even defend them.
You date rich men once in your life and you become disillusioned for the rest of your life. You realise that these grand gestures have lost their meaning. A rich man spending his money on you is no compliment. A poor many spending his last penny to court you is the biggest compliment. A man telling you how beautiful you are with empty eyes is not a compliment. A man looking at you speechless with those eyes, ladies know the eyes I mean. Well that speechless look in the eyes of a man that truly loves you and only you, that needs no dictionary.
And every woman can have that. But your cold boyfriend is blocking the view of your warm husband.
I don’t want a rich or a poor man. I want my man. The one for me. The one who isn’t stingy with his money or frivolous but the one who speaks my love language and luxury items are not my love language. My love language is dedication, devotion, something that only my intuition knows. I can’t even offer the blueprint to my heart because even I don’t know it. My heart, body and soul knows when I have met the one for me.
I had spent my youth in the company of piranhas. Born from a mermaid, devoured by piranhas. Every unloving thought she planted in my head was planted from a tarnished soil.
And one day when I was ready to jump into the ocean and let myself drown in the waves of piranhas, I met this young man.
He looked at me with love and it made me so angry. How dare you
come now, now that I’m about to jump?
He was not afraid of what my eyes have seen. He was not afraid of the places my feet had been. They say that God will ask you on judgement day
So my side of the story is that I had my demons too. And he is the only man who managed to build a fence around those demons.
But that’s not his assignment. That’s my own assignment.
Here I had this young man looking at me with love, and I had never seen love so how could I stand a chance to recognise it? Who saw the places I had declared unlovable and he looked at my stones and said "Those are not stones, they are diamonds" and I was about to throw them into the ocean because here they were, the piranhas trying to convince to feed them my stones. They barked at me so I would throw my stones at them. And he stopped me.
He looked at his ex
People I went to school with, they act ike they know me. You’ve known me for 3 years of my life. You never asked me. You concluded me out of your own assumptions. You jumped to conclusion and landed them on my chest and then breathed life into the projected fantasy of who I am and what my story is. But you never asked. And many people, many artists, are held bondage by the assumptions of others. I don’t correct people’s assumptions because I love to watch these uncreative people squirm as they defend their own assumptions. I didn’t shatter your assumptions or break out of your box because I was never there in the first place.
I had to lie about the statistical information and I recommend everyone to do the same. But never ever, don’t you dare, for a second, to lie about your feelings, your integrity, the language that your soul speaks. So I don’t care if you lie yourself older or younger or lie about your name or your birthplace or your ethnicity. I wouldn’t even pick up on those lies, you can convince me of anything. But you can never lie with your soul and heart.
My soul and heart are emotionally and socially intelligent entities, they are very professional detectives.
My ex husband and I never went on a date. He was observing me as I was busy playing with these grown boys, he watched me as I disrespected myself and allowed me to discover, on my own, that I was worth so much more, until he couldn’t just sit there and watch anymore.
Because I was meant to meet you so I could discover who I am and what I can offer the next generation and you were meant to do the same. If you break up with someone and they are OK with seeing you hurt yourself in order to "get them back"
If your partner is spiritual and they believe in the energy world and they have communicated with you that they don't want to share energies with others, then you have assaulted their spiritual world. You have forced an exchange of energy between them and the person you fucked.