I'm here to announce the obituary of the most abusive and disgusting proverb out there. It's a very popular one. Often attached to an eye catching quote art and shared by thousands of people and comments in agreement that state "So true!" or "Yas queen! You have to respect yourself before others do"
Let me tell you this. If you seriously think that people who only love and respect you when you love and respect yourself, are your real friends, then you have a problem with recognising what true love is, my friend.
Why would you be friends with people who can only give you what you already give yourself? Those people are not your friends. They are users.
True friends, true lovers, they notice your blindspots. They see your worth before you see it. They cover you in blankets when you leave yourself out the cold.
They remind you how disrespectfully you speak about yourself. They raise your value. They are not users, they are not takers, they are givers. And don't you dare take them for granted. Those who will burn their bridge with you, if that's what it takes to teach you how to swim, those are your friends.
I am not only talking about platonic ones but romantic ones too. We cannot compartmentalise love. Love is not a container. Love is abstract. Love is everywhere you go. To save a worm from the sun is love. To help the elderly is love. To give to your local community is love.
People who only love you when you love yourself are not people who love you. They are empty vessels, using you as a supply, sucking you dry.
They are lazy lovers and lazy friends. They want you to leave them to the land of honey, they want you to be the path leader. They want you to do the work so that they can reap the benefits. They want you to leave them into your abundance. And they love to see you happy. And you mistaken it for love. Because you think that just because someone loves to see you happy it must be that they love it when you're happy. They love to see your happy because your eyes start to shine and they shine a light on their darkness. But when your light is dimmed, they are gone. And the few people who were there for you, they are gone too. Because you were too busy entertaining those who only appear in the light, because they love to be seen, because they love the credit, because they love to use you as supply. While the real ones, they're gone because you took them for granted.